Volunteer Part 3

This past week, I was lucky enough to be able to work in the lab again during my volunteer experience in my school's tutorial program. Students were more accustomed to seeing me there and therefore called me to check their progress and help them.

Although as a career path, I would not choose solely computer lab work, I still enjoyed the difference in how I am able to interact with the kids. As mentioned in my last blog post, I have the opportunity to be more social with the kids rather than staying in 100% teacher mode. Some of the students really feel unmotivated to be there, or they have off days, and it does help them to have a chance to talk about their lives for a few minutes. It's always surprising to me some of the things that students will share given just a brief moment of time to let it out. One of the girls (who I have only worked with peripherally this year) mentioned to me about her sister getting pregnant at sixteen and having to give up the baby. Although she seemed very nonchalant about the whole thing, I could tell that it saddened her because she was waiting for the baby to arrive for nine months and never got a chance to see it. As soon as she shared, she turned back to her computer and started working.

I do feel like kids have these issues bubbling up inside of them with nobody to really talk to. Sending kids to guidance counselors is very intimidating, and often for drastic instances. Parents will shush their kids if they want information about something bad that has happened. Friends might judge them. I think kids just need to release this information or the things spinning around in their mind and move on. I don't believe there was anything she expected me to say or do after she told me that, because she didn't skip a beat getting back to work. It was simply something she needed to get out to someone who would be willing to listen and seemed interested.

In my classroom, we've had a "mean girl" issue in the past two weeks which led us to have a town meeting. We talked about cyber bullying and people bullying in general. Earlier in the year, two students from my school had their mother killed, went missing, and are presumed dead. One of my students mentioned that kids were making fun of the deceased children in extended day and that made him sad, but a lot of my kids had no idea that it even happened. Or, they had an idea that something bad happened to the kids, but not any details. I let the students have a discussion and didn't lead or intervene in the conversation at all. I was so surprised and pleased at the maturity and insight provided in their conversation.

The students didn't gasp in horror about it or say their parents didn't want them to know, they just never had the opportunity to TALK about it. This was such a tragic event in our school and in our community, but it was immediately shushed among the kids. We were told to send them in to get information from the guidance counselor instead of talking about it ourselves. Everything was so secretive, but meanwhile our school had lots of police and social workers talking to friends of the kids and teachers. Our kids had no release (other than a formal talking-to by the guidance counselor) with this type of event.

I also noticed that kids want so badly for adults to be proud of them. In the group I work with for tutorial (as well as my previous Tier III students), there are a lot of students who might drive their teachers crazy. But when they finish a lesson and they do well, they are so excited to get me and the other teacher, Ms. D., to come over and look at how well they've done. I can see how their attitudes have changed from the first time I worked with them and they were wary of me versus now. Just taking a minute to say hello to them in the hallway regardless of what I am doing makes them happy, or asking about them with their classroom teachers. These kids want to be recognized, addressed, congratulated, and made to feel important no matter what type of home they come from!

Volunteer pt 2

My first week of volunteering in the tutorial program went very well! Most of the students involved in the program I have worked with before, so it was wonderful getting the chance to work with them again.

Essentially, our Tier II students are invited to stay after school for one hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Students are split into different groups and by grade level. Some students work in small groups with a teacher and others are working in the computer lab on the SuccessMaker Lab. From my understanding, the lower level students tend to work in the lab in order to get extra skill practice in the basics. SLD students are put into a group with one teacher and receive small group instruction.

My first day was last Tuesday, and I was able to work in the lab. I actually enjoy doing the lab work as I did this often last year. I think it's a good time for the students because they are able to work at their own individual pace and can work on different subjects at different times. I was helping another teacher facilitate the lab, so my job was to make sure that students were on-task and providing help for any concepts they were struggling with. After school tutorial lab is a lot more laid back than when I take my students. There are chances to socialize and take brain breaks when needed.

I really admire the teacher that I was volunteering with, as well. Typically, she works in the media center during the day. Throughout the year, we have gotten to know each other and she has been really supportive during my job change. I like the way that she interacts with the kid and see a lot of similarities between us. She is able to joke around and play with them, but when they try testing her she will set them straight.

Volunteering in the lab also made me realize that I really miss my old job. I miss having the opportunity to work individually and build these kids up. This experience helped me realize that, while being a classroom teacher is a blessing in my life right now, it's not the career path that I can always see myself taking.

Thursday I was required to sub for a teacher who would be out in the afternoon. I worked with the SLD group of 4th graders. This was definitely a difficult experience. Even though I only had seven students in my group-- and I have worked with all of them previously-- it was still a challenge getting them to all focus, stay on task, and keep up with the material. It was so different from my lab experience because I needed to stay in "teacher mode" the whole hour instead of lapsing into more social activities.

I believe the rest of my hours will be up in the air. I will probably have to substitute for any teachers who are out, but I am hoping that I get some more lab time.

Volunteering

I look forward to beginning my volunteer experience this upcoming week by working with students in the tutorial program at my school. These students are invited to attend after school tutorial programs on Tuesdays and Thursdays for help in reading and math. This is such an awesome program for our students, and often the kids love it! I think it is so awesome that they are offered individualized help in small group settings.

I've also been thinking about putting a plan into action for community empowerment for areas in my district. This is something I feel like I've been called to do for awhile now. I've always been so amazed at how kids of all socioeconomic statuses just LOVE to give to other people, even if they don't have a lot to offer. Although this would be a huge undertaking (and not something I'm sure I could do while teaching) it seems to be playing in my mind more and more frequently as where I need to be in life. So please send some positive thoughts/prayers my way as I wrestle with this issue!

Inspiration for CAP

I've been up and down regarding what I would like to complete my CAP on, and finally realized what I would like to do with my time. I would like to study (at an elementary level) what influence extracurricular activities have on kids in urban settings. Part of my reasoning for this is that many of the Title I schools I am familiar with only have academic "clubs" (read: tutoring). There is very little motivation for students to go to these activities because in reality, it's just more work.

What are the benefits of having cultural and recreational opportunities provided in schools for students? First off, I feel like having lots of opportunities would really inspire lifelong hobbies for students. Recently, I had a student transfer to my class from the school I used to work at. The mother could not stop going on and on about how many opportunities there are at our school now and how her daughter wants to sign up for EVERYTHING. Her child is excited to go to school again! For our dance club, some of our students who have the means to do so now also attend out of school dance classes. Our orchestra club has students performing inside and outside of school. Odyssey of the Mind stems out into several areas and has encouraged kids in my school to start acting classes. While the clubs within our school may not be the do-all-end-all for that child's opportunities, they serve as a spark for interest in all sorts of areas.

Secondly, this is something that holds students accountable. I feel that all too often, a lot of our students are coddled and aren't challenged enough with conflict resolution. Although introducing activities like this shouldn't be motivated by how we can take it away if the students misbehave, I feel as though students will simply STOP misbehaving because they now have a new outlet.

These clubs work because there are teachers who donate time, materials, and love into these projects. It's not mandated by the principal that they host these clubs, it's simply something that the teacher enjoys and would like to introduce their students to. With this type of motivation, I really believe this is an easily availabe resource to use.

A continuation of last week's thoughts....

This past week has really put an emphasis on some of the points I mentioned in my blog last week.

On Wednesday, we held a brief staff meeting where we watched some startling videos on childhood poverty and the effects it has on students. I will have to get the link from my principal and post it here. The biggest point was the gap in opportunities for the students' first five years of life and how we can work to bridge that gap. Unfortunately, without government funding, we as teachers can only do so much when we have them during the school year.

Again, the biggest help an administrator can give is bringing in these cultural opportunities! Students need to be exposed to different hobbies, arts, music, and successful people of all colors. In our school, we are very grateful for our principal and his understanding in what our kids need. Many of the schools in Seminole County require that the fourth graders wait until after FCAT Writes in order to take their Saint Augustine trip. We are very blessed that we get to go befor FCAT Writes because for some of our students, this is the only time they've left the city of Sanford. This experience may be their first time traveling on a charter bus, being out of the city, seeing the ocean, or being in a mueseum. The students are able to draw from their experiences and use it in their writing.

I look back at my experience so far as a first-year teacher and remain thankful for where I am. I spoke to a friend from undergrad who is in her second year at a Title I school where there are 22 new teachers! I found the turnover rate to be ridiculous! We were sharing some of our stories from teaching, and her biggest struggle is the little hoops her school sets up for her to jump through. She has to have her 3 critical thinking questions posted everyday, different objectives posted every day, and all of these little things posted in her classroom that would eat up a large portion of her day. My friend is extremely bold and (much like those mentioned in the STAR article) refuses to do some of these things because she would rather spend her time with her students and planning. She said something very interesting that I think hit the nail on the head. As she was talking about what was expected for her learning goals and what needed to be posted, she said, "I spend my time afterschool conferencing with parents, planning, and doing things that my students are actually going to use. There's a limited amount of time that I'm willing to stay afterschool, and I'm going to use that time for what my students need."

So  much of a teacher's time is taken up doing things that the student's don't even look at. My administration requires that learning goals be written in kid-friendly language, and they can stay the same for a whole unit. Therefore, I spend minimal time writing them on the board. I get to spend more time looking over student work and planning. I don't think my friend is a "bad teacher" for refusing to stay until 6 pm in order to write out learning goals, but unfortunately, that tends to be the consensus. I actually admire that she sets time boundaries and prioritizes what is worth spending that budgeted time on. Unfortunately, those who are in charge categorize this as "being an unfit teacher," and habits like this may be flagged as insubordinate.

Assertiveness within the classroom

As I come off of an extremely challenging week within my own classroom, I found that the journal article for the module in class this week was extremely refreshing and interesting.

One idea that my mind always comes back to (and is mentioned several times in our textbook as well as supplemental articles) is that urban schools have SO many inexperienced new teachers who are working with these kids. In fact, my very first job within a public school district was in an urban school. I'll be the first to tell you, it was one of the hardest jobs I've ever had! Even though my class size was smaller last year, sometimes those 17 students could feel like 50! I started thinking about what is so hard about these urban schools and why teachers use them as "starter schools."

I think most of the issue lies in the fact that these schools rely heavily on government funding through Title I programs, and a lot of that depends on test scores. Be it DE testing, FCAT, FCAT Writes, SRI, and any other type of test the district is responsible for, these schools are HARD on testing. To ensure that students do the best they possibly can on these tests, a lot of rigid structure is laid down on ALL teachers to be sure that all students are receiving the same instruction. At my previous school, all math lessons had to be taught the same way. I distinctly remember a first-year teacher getting chastised because she introduced rulers into a lesson when that was not an approved tool for the lesson. Therefore, all creativity in lesson planning goes out the window. Another factor is that teachers have the pressure to use all of their instructional time planning for these tests. Outside performances, recess, free time, socializing....all of these facets of school are kept to a minimum so that students may "perform" the best on standardized tests. Teachers have administration and the county breathing down their backs constantly, and therefore, the teachers breathe down the students' backs constantly. There is little time for the kids to be kids.

So what is missing? There is little to no room for students and teacher to engage in offhanded dialogue when they can get to know each other. There is little time for students to socialize and problem solve conflicts with each other. There is absolutely minimal time for students to exercise, play, and just be outside in general. Very few outside cultural resources are brought in because it is viewed as wasting instructional time. All of this adds together to create an atmosphere of restlessness and essentially, pointlessness, for the kids.

I work in a school that, while not Title I, has a clientele of students who do not have very many opportunities, and I feel very blessed that I am able to work here. The principal continuously offers cultural programs for the students to enjoy. We've seen Chinese acrobats, a gospel choir, strong man competitions, Mad Science activities, and dance performances. We have a TeachIn once a trimester. There is a plethora of musical and artistic opportunities for students, as well as Runner's Club. Some of my students are living in poverty, but have a chance to experience things that other schools may not have offered. I think the focus needs to get off of the test scores and start looking at giving students opportunities to enjoy the real world!

Family and Historical Roots

As I was reading the last two chapters of our assigned textbook, I couldn't help but think how relevant our family and historical roots are in shaping our beliefs and interactions with others. I think about the 1999 movie American History X when, at the end of the movie, the main character realizes that his virulent racism was initially rooted in his father's offhanded comments about affirmative action and how unfair it was. This seed burst open when their father was then killed by an African-American gangbanger. Although hopefully nobody else's family history is quite this dramatic, I think it is critical to take a moment and look at our own family's beliefs-- no matter how painful it may be to do so.

In my own household, I experienced a type of reverse sexism. I grew up with two older brothers, and seeing as I am the baby of the family, of course I was coddled. When I was young, my parents divorced and my mother had sole custody. As I got older (especially in high school and undergraduate) I was held for more responsibilities than my brothers ever were. I was always expected to pay for my own stuff, do my own laundry, shop for myself, take care of the car myself, etc. Meanwhile, my brothers would leave towels on the bathroom floor, drop clothes in the washing machine and never turn it on, and have my mom cook for them non-stop. By the time I was 18, I realized how unfair it was that they had to do nothing, so when my mom would ask me to toss down the towels I'd always refuse. I distinctly remember my grandmother chastising me one time by saying, "You're supposed to help keep the house clean because you're a girl." Even though I was required to take care of more household duties than both of my brothers combined, I was still treated as a child. Even when I was working and had my own car, my mom would tell me to be home at 10, when my brothers were staying out until 1 or 2 in the morning at the same age. The reason why? Because I am a girl.

I'm reminded of this because in my marriage now, we have very un-stereotypical roles in the house. I manage all the money, whereas my husband handles most of the housework and cooking. We play to our strengths. I'm surprised at how many people have criticisms of this type of relationship. He sometimes gets teased and called a "housewife" while I can be portrayed as "bossy." My mother criticized me for not cooking a Thanksgiving dinner for my husband and said that "it wasn't right" to have him cook. I can't help but think about how much my female students are going to have to deal with this attitude that seem so archaic now but is definitely prevalent in the world.